


Having a Gay Old Time

by Winkemoji



Category: D.Gray-man, Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Crack, Homophobia, M/M, Not Serious, Out of Character, Swearing, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-20 08:04:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11331750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winkemoji/pseuds/Winkemoji
Summary: Allen loves Kurapika. Kurapika ain't got time for that.





	1. Chapter 1: Uncensored

In a kingdom, far far far far away, (far away from where?) there lived a young lad named ARRREN WOKKA. ARRREN WOKKA was one hell of a angsty son, and dreamed of ~~electric sleep~~ peace, prosperity and paduasoy. One day he met a similarly angsty fellow named KURUHPIKAH and instantly fell in love.

“I luv u KURAHPIKAH, let’s get married.”

“NO BITCH we just met.”

Kurapika smiles, spits in Allen’s face, does a twirl, and walks away.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” ARREN WOKKA screams to the heavens.

* * *

 

“Leorio, what are you doing?” Kurapika inquires.

“Uhh…. Nothing!” Leorio says unconvincingly.

Kurapika walks over and punches Leorio in the face.

“What a sadist.” Leorio says with feeling.

Now that Leorio is dead, Kurapika has only 208,574,937,365,837 more spiders to go. Kurapika wondered how the author managed to count the number of spiders in the world, but figured that she just mashed numbers on the keyboard instead of doing research.

* * *

 

“Hey boi what’s up?”

Kurapika turned around and saw a bunch of delinquents in an alleyway.

“Who are u losers?”

“We ain’t losers scum!” The leader of the delinquents, Rabi (How does Kurapika know his name?), said in a sad attempt to scare Kurahpika.

Rabi and the hood beat Kurahpika up. He can’t defend himself because he’s suddenly a defenseless uke.

“This is what you get for doing that gay twirl.”

Rabi leans down and kisses him on the lips. Wait, is this a reference to Let Dai?

“Stop referencing the gross yaoi you read!” Kurahpika says to the author.

“Who the fuck r u talking 2, faggot?”

“Why are you calling me a faggot when you kissed me?”

“NOOOOOOO I AM DEFEATED!” When confronted with his faulty logic, delinquent!Rabi dies and is reincarnated as the Rabi we all know and love.

“Great, that’s another spider down. Only 208,574,937,365,836 more to go.”

* * *

 

“Hello Darkness my old friend, I’ve come to talk with you again…”

ARREN WOKKA sings in an obnoxious voice. He is still depressed his beloved rejected him, so he’s trying to find comfort in bad emo songs. What a loser.

“I’m not a loser!!!!!!!!” He says to the narrator.

“Then get a boyfriend bitch.”

“Fine.”

Allen walks through town and enters the local gay bar. He was having a gay old time before he encounters his arch nemesis, KURAHPIKA.

“I knew you were gay!”

“I’m not gay, because I’m actually a woman!”

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO the fandom was right? But that means this isn’t yaoi! Oh, fuck this, I’m cancelling production-

“No wait! I was just bullshitting! Don’t- “

* * *

 

“Hey Kanda, how does it fare thee on this fine evening?” Allen asks.

“Very well, now let us commence with the make out session as I am suddenly in love with you very much.” Kanda replies.

They kiss passionately. Yet, Allen has an uneasy feeling, thinking that he might be forgetting something, or someone, very important.

 

SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCH

Gay~

 


	2. Chapter 1: Censored

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was suggested to me that chapter one was too 'mature' or something, so I've created a censored version. Please enjoy!

 

In a kingdom, far far far far away, (far away from where?) there lived a young lad named ARRREN WOKKA. ARRREN WOKKA was one hell of an angsty son, and dreamed of ~~electric sleep~~ peace, prosperity and paduasoy. One day he met a similarly angsty fellow named KURUHPIKAH and instantly fell in love.

“I luv u KURAHPIKAH, let’s get married.”

“NO B**** we just met.”

Kurapika smiles, spits in Allen’s face, does a twirl, and walks away.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” ARREN WOKKA screams to the heavens.

* * *

 

“Leorio, what are you doing?” Kurapika inquires.

“Uhh…. Nothing!” Leorio says unconvincingly.

Kurapika walks over and punches Leorio in the face.

“What a sadist.” Leorio says with feeling.

Now that Leorio is dead, Kurapika has only 208,574,937,365,837 more spiders to go. Kurapika wondered how the author managed to count the number of spiders in the world, but figured that she just mashed numbers on the keyboard instead of doing research.

* * *

 

“Hey boi what’s up?”

Kurapika turned around and saw a bunch of delinquents in an alleyway.

“Who are u losers?”

“We ain’t losers sc*m!” The leader of the delinquents, Rabi (How does Kurapika know his name?), said in a sad attempt to scare Kurahpika.

Rabi and the hood beat Kurahpika up. He can’t defend himself because he’s suddenly a defenseless uke.

“This is what you get for doing that g*y twirl.”

Rabi leans down and kisses him on the lips. Wait, is this a reference to Let Dai?

“Stop referencing the gr*ss ya0i you read!” Kurahpika says to the author.

“Who the intercourse r u talking 2, a bundle of sticks or twigs bound together as fuel?”

“Why are you calling me a bundle of sticks or twigs bound together as fuel when you kissed me?”

“NOOOOOOO I AM DEFEATED!” When confronted with his faulty logic, delinquent!Rabi dies and is reincarnated as the Rabi we all know and ~~love~~ hate (Please note that the author does not condone Rabi’s action in any way, shape or form. Direct your anger at Thispersondoesntexist@email.place).

“Great, that’s another spider down. Only 208,574,937,365,836 more to go.”

* * *

 

“Hello Darkness my old friend, I’ve come to talk with you again…”

ARREN WOKKA sings in an obnoxious voice. He is still depressed his beloved rejected him, so he’s trying to find comfort in bad emo songs. What a loser.

“I’m not a loser!!!!!!!!” He says to the narrator.

“Then get a boyfriend b1tch.”

“Fine.”

Allen walks through town and enters the local g@y bar. He was having a g@y old time before he encounters his arch nemesis, KURAHPIKA.

“I knew you were g@y!”

“I’m not g@y, because I’m actually a woman!”

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO the fandom was right? But that means this isn’t ya0i! Oh, fuck this, I’m cancelling production-

“No wait! I was just bullsh*tting! Don’t- “

* * *

 

“Hey Kanda, how does it fare thee on this fine evening?”

“Very well, now let us commence with the make out session as I am suddenly in love with you very much.”

They kiss passionately. Yet, Allen has an uneasy feeling, thinking that he might be forgetting something, or someone, very important.

 

SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCH

G@y~

 

 


End file.
